The holiday season often comes wrapped in the packaging of resurfaced memories, unmet expectations, and the nagging sense of not having enough time. It can be a time of year where we are met with the reality, whether good or bad, of the relationships in our life. We often spend a good amount of time reflecting on the year we’ve had, before we step into the new one. In reflecting, we take note of the things we kicked butt in and maybe some unhealthy things we’ve let slide. Or, we completely avoid reflecting because we’re simply afraid of what we might find beneath the surface. But this season can also be one topped with a big bow of goodness in many ways! Amidst the resurfacing and reflecting, it can be a time filled with gratitude for all of the things that went well and all the lessons learned. It can be a sweet time with friends and family, and those we’ve found family in when we didn’t have any. While we’re learning to balance the different sides of this season, we’ve made a list of things to help walk us through it! Wherever you find yourself this season, we hope you’ll consider doing at least one thing on this list, or share something that helps you that isn’t listed here!
GRATITUDE. There truly is something about a spirit of gratitude that shifts not only our internal reality, but the physical atmospheres we’re in. Try journaling some things you’re grateful for (big and small) or write gratitude cards for the people in your world!
SUPPORT. Sometimes the trauma we’re processing this time of year can be TOO MUCH. And, that’s okay. We suggest finding some kind of support group so you don’t have to process it alone. Bereavement groups, individual counseling, recovery and 12-step groups, faith groups at a local church, and everything in between can be amazing for the thing that you’re walking through. You’re not alone, friend.
REFLECTION. Taking time to reflect allows us to see the reality of our situations. Jot down three things that you are proud of this year, and three things that maybe don’t align with your personal identity and values. Take time to think about how you’ll continue to pursue the things you did well! Then take some time to think about how you can start making changes to the things you’d rather not continue to pursue because it’s unhealthy or doesn’t serve you any longer.
GIVE. We’re not just talking about money, though it can include that! We all have resources inside of us including time and talents. We believe we’re at our best when we’re not only taking care of ourselves, but when we’re generous with what we have as well. Our challenge to you this season is to give, both to yourself (because, friend, you really deserve it!) and then to someone else. Perhaps you need to give yourself a long bath, a day away from the kids, an acupuncture treatment, or that outfit you’ve been eyeing in the window on your way to work. Then, find a way to give to someone else! Perhaps it’s a friend that really needs to talk to someone and you can offer them an hour of your time. Or that individual experiencing homelessness and really needs someone to look them in the eye and know that they are seen. Perhaps you can volunteer somewhere local, and sow back into the community in which you live. Or if you have the available resources, maybe you can give financially to organizations doing good work to change the trajectory of people’s lives. BE CREATIVE! There is nothing too small or off limits to the ways in which we can give to ourselves and those around us.
What are some things you like to do during the holiday season that helps ease anxiety and keeps you present with yourself and those in your world?
-Miranda Cazin, Communications at The PILLARS